he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
