I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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