they need to just BURY HIM!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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