Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
