she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
