Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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