I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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