Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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