i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize