YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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