she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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