I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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