Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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