Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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