You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
