whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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