he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm having to shit out rocks
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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