can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize