Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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