We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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