Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
