Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
