dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
