R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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