I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
