I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
