Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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