He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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