What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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