So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
