Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize