And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
