Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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