pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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