Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
