How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
