the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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