Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
