It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
