Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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