it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
