Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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