Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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