Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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