apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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