I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
