she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize