Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
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