i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
