haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
