theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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