eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
