Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
