i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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