Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
