That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
