You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
