when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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