She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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