worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
