she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
