Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is this the sara with the beer cane?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
