Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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