idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
