Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
