Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
