dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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