Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
