): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize